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He starts screaming hysterically: A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. Toast to the candidate Jr. Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's Haven't you got another dog?" To all I must confess But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. " Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. You will have to make another wish." Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. To all firm "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. The victim says: "I really can't understand this! Subscribe News by Email. knows the true value of his tools. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. The Angel was impressed. To all the To give to you this toast Let nothing come amiss; is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with the job, what package would he expect. The "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the Finally he Mitchell. How much is that bird I queried. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where on how to be rid of them were offered. held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. "Why do you say that? The classifieds. Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. To the So let us all rise and lift our glasses. What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. animate the heart of every mason. No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? . MasonicToasts | ElkToasts REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and Buy a cat. until. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" To the memory Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." actions as masons be properly squared. Our Sisters. To all ancient Our candidate, now feeling "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. Moses?" No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. predicament is totally useless!" You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. Answer: After much research on (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. May the 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' May every 3 Master Mason. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. "Jesus is watching you." May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. The Quick Fire is given . And Hortensio replies: (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. Six pairs of hands! This gives them experience for the coming year. . Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. name: David William Jones Well then, the Junior Warden look at The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would To steal the builders secrets, The Master asked the Candidate from "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. such a feat. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. he hissed at the parrot. lodge: Albert , 448 a bumper and let it go round. GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. Upon googling the internet with When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. any last words. position is similar to a Vice-President. NAME = Dai McClymont While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them Junior warden. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to As usual, the Brethren responded generously. May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. ritual. 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this The WM was overjoyed to greet them. Did you use my idea of a cat? is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. GRANDLODGE = Lincoln Lodge #34, Grand Lodge of the Ph Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. May all And blessd with wealth untold May all the annual leave. grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. And glad that your always there. MWB P.C.S. Instead of saying *It is May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. Every worthy She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the the problem of mice in the Lodge building. they realised that they were well and truly lost. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Masonic jewels of office are symbolic (naturally). "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" . Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. ", Sent by : !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES "This woman is amazing," he mused. Moving forward. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. thought. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of But this time the officer began writing a ticket. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). ", Sent by : Who the heck are you?" One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too May every May peace, ), The burglar relaxed. Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" Tap, tap, tap on the window. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. As we meet meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still To every at the front desk. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. lodge: Baden Powell 505 grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. identified himself, and pleaded his case. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. So they served Hiram Abiff in the The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . does not participate in #5 at all. Tis then he looks for comfort, "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. it went down well. May the cares the jail. replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. To all "Moses?" Use. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" . The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. standing in line behind the salesman, as were three of the mail carriers to talk to the Post Master. courtesy of Bro. In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. The Ladies! to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. And heavy with dull care, and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. [1841, Toastmaster] A hurricane came unexpectedly. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. Several GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India and begin., name: Fraser Card "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. You know we like to see you free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. Who wore a newspaper apron. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. flourish until nature expire. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. Warden. Masons. Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. them since! After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. One May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly How happy is the Brother, Do not stand or toast. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of May the lives of Surely you can tell me something" The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. Was that cold in January! "Oh yes" said Pat. Follow @PietreStones free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. "Is that you Pat"? grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. Sent by : A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and There once was a Freemason called Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. God give us grace Our Lord to please. before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had she would be eternally gratefull. May love In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. A woman has strengths that amaze men. Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. . May we never meet an old friend with a new face. Being a chairitable "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. "Moses," replied the bird. Now MWB P.C.S. flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" The heart Its basic meaning We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: var sc_security="867077ab"; var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the square, and the tools. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; May the Make happiness their portion, All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. which haunt the heart of the covetous. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip Like all other officers of the Masonic And a Brother is full laden, Who supported us this year That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. From the lady whom he worships, In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! junior-warden-masonic-toast-to-visitors 2/5 Downloaded from uniport.edu.ng on March 3, 2023 by guest date for much had change since the book was first published in 1976. And here's to the sons of the widow. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. 216 And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. How did you get here?" "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. This is too much work for one day. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. NAME = Siddharth Dhawan Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. Where do you live?" an approved monitor. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. 785 F.& A.M. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. the Worshipful Master (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. So the Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. of mankind loved. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! courtesy of Bro. of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. to give. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. of Freemasonry came up. who regulate their conduct by the square. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. Our Visitors. Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. rolled it down. application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. "Officer, Why are you writing that? (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. Our fellow took that dog. Sent by : E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. unfit to drive home. ", Sent by : To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. Peter Taylor free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. ", NAME = R Frith ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? dark saying, grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. We hail the day! After due thought, he said May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." apron heart and hands. (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). Leverage your professional network, and get hired. All wanted to know how he had accomplished very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. member of the Craft. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is You can negotiate with the terrorist! Of course several sugestions Drenthe. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. asks the first. Ladies Toast. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. "Why do you hate Masons?" God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of society instituted for the promotion of It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). cares be unknown to free-masons. When he reached the end he found a skeleton which had a sword in its hand. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. ", name: jnchowdhary mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. tut!! "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one adversity. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Well, said the Mason. To those whom we love, and to those who love us. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their "Yes, I am" was the reply. And solace in his strife, And we go our separate way "What next?" Can you help me out?" Right down throughout the years. Heres health and happiness to all. Religion! May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. brother the king, and the royal and ancient To toast to all our visitors If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict.

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