Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station A: Shake-N-Bake. (crowd cheers). Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to station? The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Click image to enlarge. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. A: Kaiser wrap. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . A: "Hi diddly dee." . The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. (the curse). The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. 200 views, 3 upvotes. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. The Answer: No more years! A: Planter's Punch. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. The funny story above is a satire or parody. Pinside Pinball Top 100 Rating comments | Pinside Top 100 The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Flashback Friday: Heeeere's Carnac! | National Enquirer A: A full moon Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php A: Hickory Dickory Dock. Explanation of WPA. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. A: Rat pack. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Q: Name two rams and a goat. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Only this curse was not humorous at all. Kitchy-Kitchy? QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Crabgrass. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. . MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Carnac the Magnificent - Unionpedia, the concept map A: Ultra-conservative. A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? Gotta be Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. One? A: Pussy Willow. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes A: "Leave it to Beaver." A: The Sugarland Express. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Internet Forwards Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your A: England, France and Greece. Line: 315 CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. A: Grape Nuts. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. A: Milk and honey. . May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? A: The CIA. Amazon.com: Carnac Hat Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY (Crowd applauds) #10. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Ed McMahon: Shogun. TORCH: Torah Weekly The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. A: "Oh God!" However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com . The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. work? A: Old wive's tale. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Get a random spoof news story. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a Hand made. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Click here to be a writer! Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. these envelopes, Is that a reptile? Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A: Dustin Hoffman. Here's how it played out on air. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. sister's hooped skirt. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat A: Zippo Marx. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 Hoffa. The character was introduced in 1964. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. A: Snap, crackle, pop. carnac the magnificent curses 40 Years Ago, Johnny Carson Tells Most Famous Joke - KPEL 96.5 "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb girlfriend. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them.
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