How *dare* you! For reasons I can't really discuss with you. I shall miss you too. Marwood: General: [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. I can't. Withnail: These are the best withnail and I quotes. Half an hour? Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. What the fuck are you talking about? Marwood: Be seated. Im in the same boat. Marwood: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Here is the clip. Me? Withnail: Withnail: Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. Then the fucker will rue the day! Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. [after a phone call with his agent] He's lent us his cottage. Withnail: Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. General: Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Don't you agree? An expert on bulls you are not! Why can't I have an audition? It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: Well neither have I. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Had a weight under his fez. [voiceover] The carrot has mystery. Stop saying that! Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. Marwood: Suits me. Marwood: You know what we should do? Danny: Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! Jake: Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Marwood: Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail and I - Wikiquote I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. Withnail: Scrubbers! But old now, old. Withnail: [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Belongs to the fellow downstairs. What have you done to them? Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Hair are your aerials. Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Do you like to experience all facets of life? Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Withnail: It's a bloody chicken! We're doing a feature for Country Life. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. Look at Geoff Woade! you little traitors. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Withnail: What are you talking about, Danny? Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. There's the supper. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Withnail: Where is he? Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. You have made it high. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail: Withnail: We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. It'll pass. Easily [they stop and look at each other. He told me about your problems. Hey, show no fear! Uncle Monty: Go with it. Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. We want the finest wines available to humanity. This thread is archived. Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? Withnail: Monty: Why have you drugged their onions?! Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Will we never be set free? Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Withnail: This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Look at us! What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Withnail and I Quotes - Poem of Quotes: Read, Write, Learn Them pheasants are for his pot. There can be no true beauty without decay. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Uncle Monty: I sometimes wonder where Norman is now. Monty: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Be seated. Gi' me one in t' knee. It's trying to get itself in with you. It's wearing a yellow sock. Withnail: For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. These pheasants are for my pot. "Withnail and I Quotes." Withnail: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. Marwood: Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit! It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." And you'd be marvellous. [she still doesn't answer. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Withnail & I (1987) - Ruthless Reviews You lose, you gain. 4 Mar. Balls! I've already put two shilling pieces in. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Poacher. How noble in reason! Were incompatible. What a piece of work is a man! These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Look at him. This is a court, man. *I'll show the lot of you*! I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? [approaching the pub] Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Marwood: Quote by Bruce Robinson: "Here. Hare. Here. Here hare here!" Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! What's your name, MacFuck? Especially that. Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Withnail: Policeman 2: It's society's crime, not ours. Talk:Withnail and I - Wikiquote Shut that gate and keep it shut! Monty: These aren't accidents! Monty: The paragon of animals! You know what we should do? Oh, Baudelaire. Because I don't advise it. Jake: Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Well, I'd hardly say that. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. This is me, naked in a corner! You lead him astray. Withnail: I could hardly piss straight with fear. Oh, you little traitors. Monty: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Danny: One of my favourite movies. quotes duty call warfare modern war. Bates novel I'd read. My brain's capsizing. Jake: Danny: Withnail: Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. "It's gone. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. All right, get hold of it. Why don't I get any soup? They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. This ain't fancy dress." Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. The paragon of animals. [reading the note] Monty: Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. How noble in reason! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Vegetables again. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Outvie him. Irishman: I don't care where you come from! Ah! Withnail and I Quotes - Find Your Favourite Quote from Withnail [getting up at the same time] *You'll all suffer*! Marwood: What have you found? Rejuvenate? Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Don't be ridiculous. It can utilise up to 12 skins. You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? It's like a tide. Danny's here. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. I say, you know what we should do? And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! Marwood: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. the web and also on Android and iOS. Just you wait! Come on, old boy. Marwood: Suits me. [smiling] You love him. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Do you grow? Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Why can't I have an audition? What fucker said that? We've got to get some booze. Withnail: I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. It's got to warm up. Withnail: Little tarts, they love it! Imagine the size of his balls. What are you doing up here, then? [cockily] And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail: Danny: *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Marwood: We can't go on like this. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. It's like Greenland in here. There must and shall be aspirin! This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Have you either of you got shoes? Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Withnail: Look at my tongue. I feel unusual. Marwood: Change down, man, find your neutral space. The cottage. I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. [reading a newspaper] Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. We might wanna do a film in here. Withnail: Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. How like a *god*! Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023 [overtaking a car on the motorway] The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Oh, of course you are. Withnail: The thermostats! Withnail: This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Withnail: "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Withnail: - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. 1 comment. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Withnail: . Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Ponce! Withnail: Have you been at the controls? The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . Tea Shop Proprietor: Marwood: This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Danny: Withnail: [toasting with a drink] Withnail: Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. You're not leaving me in here alone. This doll is extremely dangerous. Monty: It was like walking into a lung. How can it be so cold in here? [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] Withnail: Ive told you why. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. Give it a chance. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Now, would you leave? Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. Warm up? Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Press J to jump to the feed. Do as he says. Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. Stand aside! I'm not going to understudy anybody. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Isaac Parkin: He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Marwood: Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". How can it be so cold in here? I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Marwood: awesome war quotes Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Look at Geoff Woade. Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Honestly. If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. But old now, old. Withnail: His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Marwood: Chin-chin. No, that is a dog. Withnail: Prostitutes for the bees. Nor women neither. Danny: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. What do you want? I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! He had a weight under his fez. These are the sort of windows faces look in at! [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Here hare here? That's a very good idea. Withnail: *Arrrgh*! I must have some booze. You got to throttle him. move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. You have done something to your brain. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Withnail: He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. It has voodoo qualities. Withnail: Danny: Ah, he knows. I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. Withnail: Old suit?! If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Monty: Making an enemy of our own future. Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. I feel unusual. How dare you! you little traitors. God fulfils himself in many ways. Street: The Embalmer! I don't advise a haircut, man. - Washington Irving. Withnail: . [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] Monty: Withnail: No it doesn't. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. What should we do? I'm utterly arseholed. You want working on, boy. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! I'm gonna be a star*! Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Cunt gave him two years. Jake: We do it wrong, being so majestical. Marwood: Danny: We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. [to Marwood] [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Stop saying that, Withnail! Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Withnail: The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Get out of it for a while. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Change down, man. Especially that little pimp!
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