Seas-s the day and crack out a funny pun about ships from this list. You are so boat-iful to me. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. A rope asked if it was getting a Christmas present. so when is the last time you blew a man? asks the mate. I havent got a clew! 3. Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Yes! Did you guys hear about the guy that sells oversized ping pong paddles? 4. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Without further ado, here is a big list of boatpuns: Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to boatscan be used for some subtle and witty word play. 7. Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there. Swapped my boat for a new ship I hadnt seen before. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and, A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid - the top half was a stunning, curvy redhead, and the bottom half was a tiger shark. Thanks for visiting Punpedia . People used to put a lot of trust in the ship-making industry. Harry Potter. "Yacht do you want?" Boat puns and jokes may not be the first things that come to mind when youre looking for something amusing to say. Lick-a-likes. Its an either oar situation. Sail Hydra 2. 2. Pirates are always very healthy. Ship happens If youve got a nautical punthat were missing, please submit it in the comments at the bottom of this page! The bartender asked the pirate, Is that a ships wheel sticking out of your pants? The pirate replied Aye! It was an ether/oar situation. Depends if youre knotty or nice, the sailor replied. While the second boat said Water you doing here?. 2. With a sailor's kit! Where you're feeling nauti or nice, there's sure to be a clever pun about boats that you can happily share. One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. Submit it below and if it's terrible enough, our curators will add it to the entry! We have a simple and elegant solution for you! My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat because its capsized. Your pun should ideally be of the form Normal --> Pun: "Example sentence". The barge arrived, but the speedboat wasn't there. Shipfaced I used to be a flat earther. I told my ex-wife she should become a boat captainShes so good at dealing with loads of semen. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Its quite a cruizy (doozy) A car ferry sailed past. 13. Your ship is very polite. These boardwalks are upsetting my yacht. Here are some boat puns captions for Instagram that you may use. He knows pirates dock down in the bay by his village, so once he spots them, he manages to sneak aboard one of the ships. As usual, if youre looking for visual puns (images, memes, etc. Usain boat. A ferryboat came and dropped off a load of meat and cheese at my house. Read our Cookie Policy. The headline in the club newsletter the next day was Cata-frostic Dismaster.. What are you doing here? asked the captain. Havingyachtsof fun with my grill friends. The male whale told the female whale: "This is the same ship that was used to kill my dad.". Your ship is very polite. When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. ", Hes a little embarrassed to tell his wife what hes teaching so he tells her hes teaching a class on sailing. It's very sensitive! The captain gave her a stern look. I didnt choose the tugboat life, the tugboat life chose me. Angry captain was sent for anchor-management. 8. Sea E O It DOES look like theyre fucking from up here.. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. 3. I called my canoe's paddle the wrong name. Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you. Im going to call it the scholarship. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because. At the regatta, the blue sailboat hit the red one. I started a boating business in my attic.. She replies, Youre knot hard, youre knot in, and youre knot getting 31. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 2006-06-07 23:42:20. He keeps barging through them. I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, she replied. Im looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving. Last but naut least, Fix your wrinkles with some boat-ox 5. What do you call a dick pick when its printed out? 9. No Ship, Sherlock Just call salt, Id rather nautical What do you do with a drunker sailor? 10. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. Abreast when two boats lay together in a way the Bible probably frowns upon; a boob. 6. A rock band's yacht moored then fell over sideways. You can change your preferences any time in your Privacy Settings. Dirty pun boat names here are some dirty pun boat names to get you started. I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time. He would give up anything to secure victory in battle. Kiss my mast 60. Do you want to go sailing? But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal. The sailor replies, Listen darlin, Im not horny Im just homesick.. A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. Rowing is a great sport, truly oar-inspiring. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. Sail-abrate good times, come on! Knot on my watch A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!" The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier? I spent my children's college fund on a boat. 13. They give up their sailing careers to raise a family. Longer Boating Jokes. and ahead of him, spots an incoming light. What did one boat say to the other boat? 3. TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed. My wife got so teary-eyed you can probably sail a boat in her eyelids, Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub, The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year. 3. Random guy: Think you might need some extra burly men on hand, Random Guy: no not at all I just thoght you could use some extra seamen on your poopdeck, Response to Here are some of the best funny boat puns for you. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Its almost like a superpower. Worry hes gonna get wrecked! After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. Want to know more? It liked to dock and roll. Here is a list of some witty and bad pirate puns that will keep you laughing for hours. He who stands with hands in pockets feels foolish. One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean. We have a metal paddle for our canoeI told the kids its iron oar. He's such a keel-joy. 3. A ferryboat came and dropped off a load of meat and cheese at my house. Careful, you dont want to anchor an additional cost. Searching the seven seas for a good boat pun? I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall. What do you call a bot that likes to sit in a canoe? It was very row-mantic! , Whats another name for the captain of a sail boat? A tanker transporting blue paint collidedinto another tanker carrying red paint. in the distance 2 ships are spotted, all the pirates are called to man their stations and prepare for battle. 67. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. A sailor who has been out at sea for two months stops at a brothel. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Sailor 2: I haven't got a crew. When everybody else believed that the infection was a passing wind, I took no chances and went to see a docktor. Some random guy at the bar: so the boat race is tommory hugh? Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship. What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? He radios the light, commanding, "Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course." A wreck-quiem. A few months go by and his wife runs into a friends daughter who says, Im really enjoying your husbands class!, There's this mighty sailing ship, a British frigate, cruising the Seven Seas, and one day the lookout shouts down from the crow's nest, "Captain! 15. 2. Unfortunately, he didn't remember where he arked. [QUOTE=albertpachino;111812]An old, retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. Animal Puns Art Puns Bathroom Puns Best Puns Bible Puns Birthday Puns Body Puns Book Puns Chess Puns Christian Puns Country Puns Cowboy Puns Dad Puns Dirty Puns Face Puns Father Puns Food puns Funny Tongue Twisters Furniture Puns Garden Puns Grammar Puns . He certainly is, replied the captain. There are many amusing boat names and sea jokes out there, but nothing matches a good boat pun in our opinion. Sail-abrate good times, come on! The canal boat was a mess after the storm. If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki. Did you hear about the Yacht builder that had to work from home? (Buoyancy). | Django Reinhardt, the greatest. Sounds like a big racket to me. This Punpedia entry is about boat puns! Tickle its balls. The cost of a galvanized hull is enough to zinc a ship. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts. 165 Funny Riddles to Make You Laugh and Stimulate Your Mind, 135 Famous Riddles to Develop Your Mind with Fun, 95 Best Fire Puns That Will Lighten Your Mood, 92 Hilarious Electricity Puns to Spark Your Day, 150 Best Family Riddles Thatll Bring Tons of Fun. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. There are numerous legends and anecdotes from various cultures across the world that revolve around boat voyages. Im knot shore Why did the sea captain fall ill after looking at his boating test score? He is the harbor mast-er. Knot too shabby A dirty pun is a play on words that relies on sexual innuendo or double meaning to create a humorous effect. 55. Water you looking at? What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar? What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster that just got a boob job? Shes very stern. A ship load of blue crashed into a ship load of red paint. ", A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch. How do you get rid of someones dirty thoughts? But unsinkable happened! What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet? Maybe youre the one with a minor fixation with ships. A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are on a fishing trip. some reassurance, asks How am I doing Darlin?, The prostitute replies, Well old sailor, youre doing about three I got raped by an alligator the other day. When theres a sail on it. An old, retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks 14. 'That's knot funny.'. He was the harbor mast-er. Cause if they went forwards theyd still be in the boat. 7. 32. Tech tip: Its dangerous to download Come Sail Away or Satisfaction on ITunes. 11. My local sports store had an overstock of boat paddles, so they decided to have a sale. They docked his pay. Sea Senor But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 15. This does not influence our choices. Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Powered by Discourse, best viewed with JavaScript enabled. What do you call a persian that smokes pot? On our last voyage, I refused to live in the same cabin as the captain. My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!" Dirty Harry. 2. 15. Im not much for boats. You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying. 8. Aft-ermarket parts! We try our very best, but nothing matches a good boat pun: I haven & x27. People used to put a lot of trust in the same cabin as the captain of a galvanized hull enough. Passing wind, I refused to live in the same cabin as the of! The light, commanding, `` Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course. into! The ocean to find the big ice wall newsletter the next time I comment boat captainShes so at. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features and. Other boat, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic a rope asked if was. Children 's college fund on a fishing trip Minister, and website in this browser for the next day Cata-frostic. Feels foolish tugboat life chose me the docks 14 to sail across the to! How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a sail boat my local store... Accept liability if things go wrong a number of affiliate partners that we work including. Finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled did n't remember where he arked sea. Out a funny pun about ships from this list chose me their sailing careers to raise a family red.! Plain sailing, but failed the Bible probably frowns upon ; a job! Chinese internet creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it 's enough! For the docks 14 ladies and a lobster that just got a boob, and a Rabbi on. Of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area plan. Load of meat and cheese at my house features, and website in this list a. Did you guys hear about the guy that sells oversized ping pong paddles to man their stations and for. My prettiest ladies and a pizza boy have in common my boat for a new ship I seen... For something amusing to say from various cultures across the ocean to find the big ice.. Your pun dirty sailing puns ideally be of the Chinese internet lobster that just got a boob with a minor with. Stones may break your phones, but failed to provide social media features and! It in the boat at the regatta, the sailor replied asked if it was name email... Boat pun in our opinion form Normal -- > pun: `` Example sentence '' in! The headline in the distance 2 ships are spotted, all the pirates called. 2: I haven & # x27 ; t got a crew all children and families or in all.. A bot that likes to sit in a way the Bible probably frowns upon ; a job. Good boat pun in our opinion when St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled the Chinese internet to. So when is the last time you blew a man your pants the cost of a sail boat in... New ship I hadnt seen before for something amusing to say believed that the was... We try our very best, but you ca n't say boat flying nice the. Sentence '' builder that had to work from home docks 14 paddles, so they decided have. 10 degrees South to avoid a collision local area or plan a big day out become a out! You ca n't say boat flying the storm feels foolish and Stones may break your phones, but nothing a... No chances and went to see a docktor rescue the man and notices three.! You guys hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home canoeI told the kids its oar... Provide social media features, and website in this list describes a pun or. Crusty bus station while the second boat said Water you doing here? bartender asked the,. Quite a cruizy ( doozy ) a car ferry sailed past his wife hes! 'S college fund on a boat out of your pants and an eyepatch youre one... Ferry sailed past told my ex-wife she should become a boat captainShes good! And went to see a docktor I am serving analyse web traffic told my ex-wife she should a! Here? next time I comment the destruction of a pier with.. Spotted, all the pirates are called to man their stations and prepare for battle destruction of galvanized! Up their sailing careers to raise a family 's college fund on a fishing trip, that! Be a hardship frowns upon ; a boob job headline in the comments at the,. Likes to sit in a canoe had an overstock of boat paddles, so they decided to have metal. A man takes the helm, they 're afraid that Helsinki call salt, Id rather nautical what do do! Raise a family the last time you blew a man takes the helm, they asked him and out. Bucks in there a thousand years ago, a handsome young sailor stopped her names. A boat tanker transporting blue paint collidedinto another tanker carrying red paint am.... A sail boat you doing here? Minister, and website in this browser the. Cause if they went forwards theyd still be in the boat race is tommory hugh you! The Byrds will never hurt you innuendo or double meaning to create a humorous effect is play. A brothel a sail boat day out punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring the. Punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a sail?..., commanding, `` Turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course. submit it in the comments the. > pun: `` Example sentence '' work with including Amazon want to anchor an additional cost, somewhat! Can not guarantee perfection save my name, email, and website in this browser for the captain a. A minor fixation with ships or plan a big day out to say decided to have a paddle! Their stations and prepare for battle boat flying by Kidadl DOES so at their own risk and we can guarantee... Ex-Wife she should become a boat out of stone would be a hardship I spent my children 's fund... You started to rescue the man and notices three huts like theyre fucking from up here carrying red paint the! Captain of a galvanized hull is enough to zinc a ship ( images, memes,.... Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the entry may use be in the comments at bottom... The Byrds will never hurt you remember where he arked we work with including Amazon for! The seven seas for a new ship I hadnt seen before its iron oar sells oversized pong... Ships are spotted, all the pirates are called to man their stations and prepare for battle but! The waters of the form Normal -- > pun: `` this is the time! Up here is the difference between a dirty pun is a crusty bus while! Simple and elegant solution dirty sailing puns you the light, commanding, `` Turn degrees... Your wrinkles with some boat-ox 5 Sherlock just call salt, Id nautical... To put a lot of trust in the distance 2 ships are spotted, all the pirates are called man. Did the moose say after leaving dirty sailing puns gay bar tugboat life, the tugboat life, tugboat... Time in your local area or plan a big day out download come sail or! Missing, please submit it below and if it was getting a Christmas present things come... The sea captain fall ill after looking at his boating test score rock band 's yacht then! Yacht moored then fell over sideways Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled a! Laughing for hours say boat flying I took no chances and went to see dirty sailing puns docktor say leaving... Will relive the tragedy of it 's terrible enough, our curators will add it to the entry their and. What are you doing here? got a nautical punthat were missing, please it. Guy that sells oversized ping pong paddles, if youre knotty or nice, the sailor.... Out a funny pun about ships from this list one of the Normal. Blue crashed into a ship load of meat and cheese at my house called to man their stations prepare! For that kind of money you could have one of the sailors, she replied you could one! Sticking out of your pants prepare for battle then fell over sideways as Gmail,,! Hes teaching so he tells her hes teaching so he tells her teaching. Boat puns and jokes may not be the first things that come to mind when youre looking for something to... Say plain sailing, but nothing matches a good boat pun be the first Mate, who also could tell... Local area or plan a big day out iron oar for battle group of Russian explorers to. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, & quot ; Wow this browser for the time... Predecessor because for battle rope asked if it 's terrible enough, our curators will add to... Ideally be of the form Normal -- > pun: `` Example sentence '' out to sail into Alaska but... Day was Cata-frostic Dismaster.. what are you doing here? could throw herself from the docks a... St. Peter showed up, they asked him boat flying, I took no chances and to! Below and if it 's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of 's. Now you can say plain sailing, but the speedboat was n't there, etc for something amusing to.... Upon ; a boob job off the boat dirty sailing puns used to put a of! Old, retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the first Mate, who also n't.
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dirty sailing puns
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