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Recurrent pancreatic cancer kept me focused on the present moment. . You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. If she missed a session, would her hair fall out anyway? Everything was lined upexcept Sooki didnt want to go. And anyway, its my fault. She left her canvases as colorful as she led her life. "How other people live is pretty much all I think about. She was Batgirl. Sooki let my friends with the plane know that she would be there on Thursday. Its funny, but all this time I was sure it was exactly that. I dont drink. She had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the composition precariously and perfectly balanced. No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. She hadnt seen it happen. I no longer needed the protection. Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much.. Im not sure I can describe it without it sounding like an extension of the mushrooms, but it had that kind of depth and clarity of message for me. Look at what a success this time had been! Here she was an artist who lived with a writer. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. I would love to stay with you for my first night or two in Nashvilleit would be wonderful to spend some time with you. Im a good packer. She told me she had packed for good cheer, having had the reasonable expectation that times would be hard and cheer a necessity. It would be a nightmare.. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. She wanted to know about the book I was going to write next, the book I had just barely started thinking of. Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. We breathed deeply and flexed our spines. I saw her as an artist. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. Sooki had had a toucan in college. In the press release for the exhibition, ROSEGALLERY said her works used her colorful palette as an expression of a renewal of spirit and life as she healed alongside the scorched landscape of the Malibu and Topanga hills.. PATCHETT: I really, really appreciate that. I have limited time as I work til mid May, then leave the US in June until I come back to start another movie in September. Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. I asked him how he would feel about my extending an invitation to stay. You might not see how everything threads together as you read along, but when you look back from the end of the story, the map becomes clear. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . In Memoriam. I was happy, even thrilled, to stop traveling. She produced a film about her fathers work teaching children with special needs. The bottom floor of the house is an apartment, separate entrance, no kitchen. Then one day she told me she was starting to shed. Ours was an ephemeral connection common to the modern world. They were waving. When I rely on my faulty memory, the pieces are free to move. It seemed to be key to the way humans were shaped, and I was aware that this was going on for others around you. We were standing in the kitchen in the late afternoon, the time before dinner and between two yoga sessions. I knew people in college and graduate school who took mushrooms, and then about thirty years passed before I heard anything about them again. Im going to have to have my hair cut, she said. It had zero spiritual component. Tom and Rita were in Australia, where he was about to start shooting a movie about Elvis Presley. Mine was the sin of misunderstanding, of thinking that a clinical trial was the point of the story. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. Lets try the car.. They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). Astonishing to come across such a friendship at this point in life. It can be a character, a place, a moral quandary. Every time her mother turned around, Sooki was gone.. A tremendous explosion rocked the house, something far beyond thunder. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. At the heart of her new collection is a 66-page story about her transformational late-in-life friendship with Sooki Raphael, an artist and the longtime assistant to actor Tom Hanks. As Sparky stopped and sniffed, I offered up Sookis recurrence as a story to tell, not a problem to solve. Most days I went to work at Parnassus for several hours, filling boxes. Its supposed to keep your hair from falling out, she said. No events scheduled for January 20, 2023. And I think that that's the best thing we can possibly do." At Harper 's Ann Patchett spins the tale of her unexpected and deep friendship with Sooki Raphael who worked as a personal assistant to Tom Hanks: "Come on, Sooki," [Hanks] said, his voice gone grand. In fact we were so exactly in the middle of history that we had no way of understanding what we were seeing. I told her as much. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. But it turned out to be a good job, and Tom was a nice guy, and the travel was interesting. I wanted to say hello very quietly so as not to bother her. There are no words here, I thought. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. Everyone was wide awake, waiting up to see if the world was going to end. I was overcome by a sense of order in the world: if I hadnt picked up that book, if I hadnt gone to D.C., if we hadnt stayed in just enough contact for her to tell me a year after the fact that she had cancer, and if I hadnt mentioned it to Karl, she wouldnt have found her way to the only clinical trial in the country that both matched her cancer and could take her immediately. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. Sooki washed her sheets and towels, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog. If it werent for me, youd be walking around with a penguin on your head right now.. To say that Patchett was impressed is an understatement. I want to meet Tom Hanks, she said. There are so many things I understand now, she said. When I look back on those first few months of the pandemic, all I will remember is recurrent pancreatic cancer. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. In a heartfelt tribute after she died, Wilson told followers about the lovely artist that was her dear friend and shared some of her vibrant paintings. Marriage meant that he would hear out what on the surface may have appeared to be a spectacularly stupid idea. Only on weekdays and not on the Fourth of July, because apparently cancer knows to take weekends off and observe federal holidays. She joined the ships crew. This was what I knew about Sooki: She lived in Los Angeles. The next morning, we went to the bookstore early and picked out presents for everyone in her family. Donations can be made in her name to Pancan.org or Seasave.org/oceanofsooki. Which she did. The water in the creek a block away skimmed the bottom of the footbridge. These Precious Days by Ann Patchett reviewed. I think well be back tomorrow. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. I hear you, and I know that if I were in your shoes and you were asking me to stay with you it would seem impossible. Forgot your password? feb. 15, 2020: I will try to keep this quick as I know you have many fish to fry. The title essay focuses on Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, who spent the early months of quarantine in Patchett's Nashville home while receiving. You cant kill yourself because youre afraid of being an inconvenience., Lets wait and talk about it on Sunday. As it turned out, Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world.". How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, Patchett's second collection of essays. It was a straight-line wind, a freak occurrence that came out of nowhere. The very fact of her existence in our house kept me on track. The emails wed exchanged could be printed out and slid into a single manila envelope. Giant hackberries had fallen into maples and split them in half. That was what we had to hold on to, and so we held on. Many people loved it; some dared to hate it. He recommends books and asks for recommendations. Sooki had been a marathoner, though her best event was a 10K trail run. On the porch, Sparky joined in. Where I was going was death. I was an introvert again. The waiter came out and told us to get back inside. She seems very nice, Karl said once we were in the kitchen. For Patchett its Snoopy: Snoopy taught me that I would be hurt and I would get over it. No events scheduled for January 18, 2023. Don't have an account? What a good idea. The second time they came because Rita was singing at the Grand Ole Opry. I cleaned out the freezer and the refrigerator and at every moment thought, We are so lucky. He already knew. They were lucky to get up in the morning to fly across the country so Sooki could have a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also known as a Whipple procedure. But they had survived. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. She and Tom would walk in the desert in the early mornings and she would feed him lines from a script while he memorized his part, cobras skating through the dust just in front of them. There is a bright therapist named Hassan at my assigned machine, always the same, with a sweet attitude. And so I couldn't call my mom. Shes married, I said. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. MRIs! 30, 2019: My kindness comes from sincerely wanting this recording to happen. Save me. The essays, even when they are nominally about something else, are about the weight and grief of relationships: with her father and two stepfathers, her best friend, her husband and, improbably, actor Tom Hanks' assistant, a woman named Sooki with whom Patchett develops a deep bond. Now for no particular reason I changed my mind. It may also depend on how you feel about cancer narratives as well as the life-enhancing or -destroying power of what are now politely referred to as psychedelic plants, but which used to be called drugs., Ultimately, though, the story shares its DNA with other essays in the book that focus on Patchetts life as a writer specifically, where and how she gets her material. Sooki Raphael . That was my reward. Sadly, Raphael passed peacefully on April 25. There is no sense in putting that burden on yourself. All rights reserved. Its HARD. The car I was locked into was now hurtling down through a million winking flagella, every one a different color. When it. Im doing the best I can to feel beautiful in this new body.. Youre detoxifying all your inner organs.. Unlike so many other small businesses, we had the means to pivot. Germline variants are passed from parents to their children, and are associated with increased risks of several cancer types, including pancreatic, ovarian and breast cancers. I had thought this was a story about Tom Hanks, the friendly actor-writer who had recorded my book, but I was mistaken. Am I the person youre talking to, or are you talking to someone else downstairs late at night? I asked her about her trip to Stanford for the biopsy, her flight to Nashville. You can just concentrate on yourself., She shook her head. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. We had been together for the duration of this new world. I never cry, and yet I had plans to do nothing else for the rest of the day and maybe the rest of the week. She ran marathons and regularly won the Fastest Woman in Topanga title at the local Tough Topanga 10k. Her Sookis cookies recipe was famous among not just anyone who knew her, but anyone who knew someone who knew her. My little dog Rose, now ten years gone, came out to meet me, running giant circles of exuberance in the soft grass. She had wanted to study painting in college but it all came too easilythe color, the form, the techniqueshe didnt have to work for any of it. I wanted Karls comfort and was glad he wasnt there. We would have dinner whenever she was ready. I hoped he would ask me to join them. At the country club in Connecticut, the event organizers began to apologize as soon as we were through the door. He walked me through the publishing process: being thrilled by acceptance, ignoring reviews and then having the dream of bestsellerdom dashed What mattered was that you knew how to love the job.. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? We are. Id love to do your audio book! The Hole Story: The Piddock Clam is a Born Architect. Its like a Nol Coward play but not as witty. Still, she said, I cant help feeling like I should have done more with my life.. She repeated her gratitude and I waved it away. I made a documentary about my father. Thats like the building blocks of my, of my life, Farley told SurvivorNet. We had been in some scrapes before. She loved her family and was devoted to her grandchildren. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. Sooki came to Nashville and stayed in one place, no more movie stars, no more trips to Morocco and Tan-Tan. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. We hope you enjoy reading another article this month! And the moral of the story is that really is what I have been doing my whole life ever since. I think about all the people who would want her to live with them. For them the mystery is solved by the act, and I understand that; its just not the way I work. may 21, 2019: Thank you for your concern about my medical procedure. Patchett, co-owner of Parnassus Books in Nashville, has an essay collection revolving around the story of her friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks's assistant. He had a program where he taught kids with Down syndrome and autism how to ride bikes., As it turned out, Sooki had done a lot of things. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward. They had recovered. I knew that she worried about her ninety-four-year-old mother in Rye Brook, New York, and read to her grandchildren in San Diego over Zoom. Did Tom even know that Sooki and I were friends? With our hands on our shoulders we turned left and right, left and right, endlessly. Karl was home from work when we got to the house, and he and I showed Sooki around. We went to the bakery across from the bookstore and bought spinach-feta bread and cinnamon-raisin bread. The cherry blossoms hung on forever. Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic. RoseGallery is pleased to present These Precious Days, a solo exhibition of paintings by Sooki Raphael, on view from 10 April until 10 May, 2021. But in her post, Wilson referred to her as the one thing she was destined to be: an artist. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. I had put a notebook and a pen beside me on the floor before we started. There is a magnificent quiet that comes from giving up the regular order of your life. Shed been a location scout, made wedding cakes, started a childrens clothing company, taught ceramics. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. Ours was an ephemeral connection common to the modern world, writes Patchett. And I had never done anything like that before. We took turns cooking or cooked together. My friends who had tried it all had positive experiences, new books extolled the virtues of seeing the beauty and connectivity of all life, and there was a chance that this experience, coming so far out of left field, might be just the thing Sooki needed. It looks like a little purse on a long strap?, I asked her if she could have left it on the plane, but no, of course not. What will happen? Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. Twenty-two sessions down and six to go. The caps had to be switched out every twenty-five minutes during treatment to ensure that her head stayed more or less frozen. With every passing day I seemed less able to say, Do you want to talk about this? I had met Sooki, after all. Looks like were sitting on the edge of the apocalypse, Marti said, leaving her french fries on her plate. Thats an important distinction and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward.. You had it here all this time? The coat wasnt the way I had remembered it. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. Kundalini is nothing if not an exercise in breath, and as it turned out, breath was what Sooki was craving. I gained back twenty pounds, and have been back hiking the trails and at work full time. She had been in the house for only a few minutes; there hadnt been enough time to lose anything. She asked whether that was cheating and was told not to worry about it. I was taking in every precious day. Overview; Filmography; Filmography. That didnt work. How was I going to say I was tired when she was never tired? But she rarely stayed upstairs. Sooki worried about her mother, who had been admitted to a hospital near Rye Brook for a urinary tract infection. First the tornadoes, Sooki said, taking picture after picture, the giant root systems pulling up slabs of earth taller than Karl, the bright spring grass meeting the sidewalk at right angles. No, its wonderful having her here.. Then Covid strikes; 2020 is all but canceled and its impossible for Sooki to go home. I can never quite hear what the person making the introduction is saying, and for a moment I wouldnt be able to tell you the name of the theater or even the city I was in. I knew how to do that. A month later, I still hadnt seen all the clothes she had brought with her, and I never saw the cold caps. Im supposed to be flying.. Jessica Everett, a genetic counselorat Perlmutter Cancer CentersPancreatic Cancer Centerat NYU Langone, encourages people in this category to look into possible screening options. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. My doctor paired up some words I never thought I would hear together: pancreatic cancer and youre in remission! It seems like an early declaration, but Ill take it! My friend Sister Nena had just called. We lived in that good world made up of yoga and chemo, the bookstore, cooking, painting, talking over dinner. She was Tom Hankss assistant and there was work to do. I finally asked her to write down the phone numbers of her husband and son and daughter, telling her that if she got sick, if she were in the hospital unexpectedly, Id need to know how to get a hold of them. The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. Everything was tremendously present tense for Sooki. Hey, how are you? Her mother is the novelist Jeanne Ray. How could I not have known? She helps the poor like Dorothy Day.. Happy to help. (Her 2004 book, Truth and Beauty, describes a seventeen-year friendship with the brilliant but demanding writer, Lucy Grealy, also a cancer victim.). He claims our lives are better for all the people I bring into the house. The problem wasnt how the trip would be organized, but what it meantpandemic, cancer, ninety-four. I remember when you asked me months ago if he knew I was here and I panicked. I kept up with a great number of people, and I didnt know to what extent Id told Sookis story to Karl before, and if I had told him, I didnt know whether hed been listening, but now I had his full attention. It made her crazy not to be there to help. You always feel this way on Friday., Thats what Im here for, I said. And also, she was very low on white blood cells. People are not composed entirely of their facts, after all. What if you come to Nashville to take part in a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer only to be killed by a tornado? UCLA had plans to start the same clinical trial that was up and running in Nashville, but not for another month or two, a unit of time that could not be lost to waiting. Sooki got her flashlight and blew out the candles. I dont want you to feel like you have to stay downstairs, I said. I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. We saw two movies with my sister. This chemo wasnt the nightmare FOLFIRINOX had been. Never want to see this again? She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before,Patchett wrote. Marriage also meant that I would listen if he tried to talk me out of it. The road forks and forks again. He has me repeat my name, birth date and area of radiation each time before I enter the room. You okay? Sooki asked. 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